What type of fuel do you use?

What type of fuel do you use?

The past few weeks have been really hellish for me. It’s been devilishly hot outside, but on a more personal note, some issues have reminded me how it feels to be thoroughly mad. It’s the worst. Thankfully, I am now in the healing process. 

Going through that process got me thinking about how we heal, and what it means to be truly healed. I am the type who disappears when i’m hurt. I realise that this is my own attempt to inflict pain on the person who hurt me, and in so doing, inflating my own sense of power over the other person in the process. On the other end of the spectrum, as I’ve observed, there are those who choose to fuel themselves with hurtful and condescending thoughts , belittling themselves in the process—which to me is also not real healing. We all have different ways to cope but somehow, throughout the whole journey of healing, there is really just one best way to heal. 

Liken yourself - mind, body, soul, and spirit, to a car, if you will allow me. A car needs fuel to run, right? And there are several types of fuel to choose from: diesel, low octane to high octane unleaded gas, etcetera. Higher octane or premium gases are better for most cars, in terms of fuel efficiency, engine deposits, and carbon emission, to name a few. On the other hand, lower class fuels will still make your car run for running’s sake, but studies have shown that these are less efficient, has more engine carbon buildup, and emits a larger carbon footprint.


Photo by Harrison Haines from Pexels

Similarly, using sad, hurtful, and negative emotions are like low-class fuels. Sure, it’s more accessible and way cheaper, but in the long run, it becomes very damaging to your mind, body, and soul. Hurt people tend to hurt people, and using hate as a tool to heal will ultimately lead to a vicious cycle of more pain, and less healing. Conversely, happy, positive and fruitful thoughts are similar to premium fuel. Sure, it costs more, and cost may come in arduous tasks such as fostering active communication, rebuilding burnt bridges, breaking down our walls and letting our people in—but like most priceless things in life, anything worth having is worth working for.

What kind of fuels do we choose to drive our healing? Sad and hurtful thoughts, or happy and fruitful convictions? And all things equal, who wouldn’t want the best for their cars, and ultimately, to something that’s of highest value - for their soul? 


P.S. My friend, heal. And heal well.

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